Every cat can turn in mid air and land on its feet. This is a fact so well known that we have built an entire Academy around it. We answer your questions below.
What is the righting reflex?
It is the ability to twist your body while falling, so that your feet are underneath you when you arrive. It is, we believe, a natural talent. At Tailspin Flight Academy we teach it as though it were a skill. Cadets are charged for this, and no one objects.
If cats already know it, why take lessons?
Because knowing is not the same as doing it with style. A cadet who lands on all four feet is a cadet. A cadet who lands on all four feet with a small bow is a graduate. A cadet who lands on all four feet, bows, and then walks away as though nothing has happened is a captain.
What does the course include?
- Ten hours of falling, on a soft surface
- Five hours of falling, off a high surface
- Three hours of pretending that you meant to
- One hour of lying on the floor, to reflect
How is the reflex taught?
Our instructors demonstrate the movement slowly, using a toy mouse on a string. They then drop the mouse, which turns in mid air and lands correctly. The cadets observe, take notes and nod. At the end, each cadet is dropped from a very small height, onto a very large cushion, and given a certificate.
Is it dangerous?
The Academy does not teach dangerous falls. All falls are carried out from heights of no more than the edge of a sofa. Cadets who wish to attempt higher falls must sign a waiver, which is a drawing of a pawprint.
What if I land on my back?
This is called a Roll, and is considered an advanced move. It is generally followed by a stretch and a yawn, and sometimes by a long look at the ceiling.
Can I fly?
No. You can fall with grace. We will help you do so. Please do not attempt to fly from a real window. This post is a parody, and the Academy is fictional. No real cat should be dropped or thrown for any reason, and our own cadets remain at ground level, on a cushion, where they belong.
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