Case Study: Why Flight 12 Ended Up Inside the Laundry Basket

The following is an official summary of the incident known as Flight 12, which took place at 3:15 in the morning in the second floor hallway. A formal investigation has been conducted. It has found that no one is at fault, and that everyone is at fault, and that the laundry basket was already full.

Background

Flight 12 was a night training exercise involving four cadets: Pepper, Toast, Ziggy and Nibbles. The mission was to travel from the end of the hallway to the bathroom, in the shortest possible time, without touching the floor. It was intended as a demonstration of agility.

The plan

The cadets planned to use the following route:

Launch from the hallway chair
Cross the sideboard
Jump to the radiator
Leap to the laundry basket
Run along the shelf to the bathroom

The plan was approved by the flight committee, which is a cat who sleeps in the hallway.

What happened

At 3:15 the cadets launched. Pepper reached the sideboard. Toast reached the radiator. Ziggy missed the radiator and reached the basket. Nibbles, for reasons unknown, jumped directly into the basket from the chair. All four cadets then met in the basket and fell asleep.

Contributing factors

Poor visibility in the hallway
A very soft basket
A very large amount of clean laundry
A general sense that the exercise could be completed later

Findings

The investigation concluded:

The basket was too comfortable
The route was too long
The cadets lacked motivation
The laundry was, as a result, warm

Recommendations

The Academy recommends that future flights be scheduled during daylight, that baskets be moved away from flight paths, and that cadets be fed before takeoff, to avoid the temptation of sleep. These recommendations have been noted and ignored.

Closing statement

Captain Maximilian Pounce said, ‘It was a perfectly good flight. It simply ended early.’ He then asked for a basket of his own.

This incident report is fictional and written for entertainment. No real aviation incidents were consulted, and no real laundry was disturbed.